So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
