how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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