he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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