We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
