I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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