Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
