Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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