I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
