the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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