Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
