i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
