Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
