So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
