He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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