i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
