if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
