I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
