on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
