He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
