i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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