you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
