I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
