He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
