i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
