Duck Duck Cougar?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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