I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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