I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
