So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
