my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
