Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
