I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
