He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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