Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
