I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
