I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
