I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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