if you like me you must not know who I am
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
