Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
