Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
