Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you win again, gameday.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
