So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
