They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
