she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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