you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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