He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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