I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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