youre lurking in front of me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
