So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
