Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
