Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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