I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There r osticjed everywhere
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
